In 2016, the first time you all published Sr. Clare’s passing away in the social networks, I felt like I knew her for forever and that I cared for her a lot. I was surprised to feel that way, because I was fighting with God at the time, and so I decided to ignore what I was feeling and not worry about it.
However, at the end of last year, in December of 2017, I couldn’t continue fighting with God. I wanted to return to Him. Even though I have religious friends that are helping me draw closer to God, to love Him and to let myself be loved by Him, I couldn’t pray at first. After having been so far from the flock for so long and falling into sin, I felt that I had a knot in my throat, and it didn’t matter how much of an effort I made. I couldn’t talk to God.
One of the religious sisters who is guiding me told me to watch a testimony from one of your Changing Tracks programs. When I saw it, I couldn’t help but remember Sr. Clare. I began to read everything that had been published about her. I spent three whole days reading what you all and many other websites published. In the end, I prayed to Sr. Clare and told her that I cared for her a great deal, and asked if she could be my protector. It was praying to her when suddenly I felt like someone took a cork out of my throat. Somehow I went from talking to the sister to talking to God. She was the one who helped me start praying again!!
The other day I was praying and asking myself what Sr. Clare had done to be so happy. What was her secret? Then I understood, or better said, she told me: it was love. I have felt that she has been with me on various occasions, and I have even asked her not too long ago if she would teach me to love and …of course! She answered immediately!
I am convinced that she takes care of me and that, since she passed away, it was she who looked for me and who gave me the space and the time I needed in order to understand that “what will it profit me if I gain the whole word and forfeit my life?” She helped me to not distance myself permanently from the Church. And since she accepted being my protector, I have told my friends and family members about her!! We have so many things in common and, seriously, I’m dying to see the movie!!